C'est Moi Que Décide

Bringing Up Bebe

I just finished reading a book about raising your children with a French parenting style, and let me tell you… I loved it. This book is written by Pamela Druckerman, an American woman living in Paris and raising her kids in France. Um. I’d move to France to give my kids a French upbringing. A)French children “Do their nights” (sleep through the night) at two or three months old. B)French kids eat well-rounded meals that are more likely to include braised leeks than chicken nuggets. C) The kids are patient! French kids sit quietly in restaurants and on outing. Few is any tantrums are had by French kids, just her kids until she starts copying the parents techniques. 

Completely wring down a review would take all year.. so here were my favorite things:

The Perfect Mother Doesn't Exist...  A french catchphrase

No Snacking- French children only eat 4 times a day. Breakfast, Lunch, afternoon snack, Dinner. That’s it. No cheerios. No goldfish. No juiceboxes whenever. Just those four times. This makes it so when it is actually meal time, kids are hungry… and therefore more likely to try all the foods that are on the table. 

The Pause- Not immediately answering your child when they call for you, or interrupt. When they cry.. give them a minute to figure out if they are just crying because, and can then self soothe.. or if they need help. The child gets used to waiting a minute after a demand or want, and thus learns patience and how to occupy themselves. That way in the future they are used to playing quietly, knowing the world doesn’t stop for them, and giving adults chances to talk without interrupting. 

“C'est Moi Que Décide (It’s me who decides)

”- This is the authority card parents pull whenthey are getting their kid to do something they don’t want to, or don’t agree with. Tough cookies child, you aren’t the parent. You don’t get to choose. Its ME who decides. No bartering, no child-king syndrome. The parent runs the show. Not the child.

“You do not have the right to _______”- instead of “don’t hit your sister.” It becomes “you do not have the right to hit your sister.” The French phrasing suggests that there is a fixed and coherent system of rights, which both children and adults can refer to. it also makes clear that the child does have the right to do other things.

“I disagree”- Instead of “don’t throw your peas to the floor” it is a look and “I disagree with you throwing your peas to the floor” It establishes the adult as antoher mind, which the child must consider. And it credits the child with having his own view about the peas, even if the view is being overruled. Pitching the peas is cast as something the child has rationally decided to do, so he can decide to do otherwise, too.

These are just a few small things.. mostly badly explained… but the book is worth the read. I'm going to try and have BabyA ‘Do his nights’ starting next weekend when I have time to be tired from letting him fuss in the night (stopping the night feeding). It might take a week.. but we are going to try and cut his one night feeding out and get him to sleep all night without help. 

I need to buy this book and highlight it.