Tomorrow is going to be a hard day. Tomorrow started 25 minutes ago for the east coast and my sister. Tomorrow my brother celebrates his 21st birthday. In heaven. No bars, no beer, no coming of age shots, no ID that let's him into clubs, no liquor stores, no birthday cake, no bad decisions, no decisions of any kind. Because he has been dead for 6 months. Six. Only half a year he's been gone out of the next 60+ I will live without him. Seeing people write on his Facebook wall wishing him a happy birthday sucker punches me every time I log on. Having Facebook tell me it's his birthday hurts. Like I need the reminder. Like I have forgotten. Like anyone in my family can forget. Like we are going to be doing anything else tomorrow but thinking of him and remembering all the life events he will be missing for the rest of our lives. I am so glad my mom is still out so we can grieve together tomorrow. It almost hurts more on his birthday than it did when he died. My mom and I are going to a cupcake place in Hillcrest tomorrow that I took him to last time he was out and we will get a cupcake for him. It's not even close to the same. But it's all we have.
Happy 21st Bryan
No comments:
Post a Comment