Pre-Appointment Jitters...!

Drs appointment tomorrow!!! I'm cautiously optimistic that we are finally getting somewhere!!   We sent her a heads up email telling her we wanted to talk about MTHFR options, our history, and preconception. She read through our records and already has extra testing set up for tomorrow.  So far so good:) my mom doesnt know we want to try again so soon... She keeps sliding '6 more months then try' into conversation. She means well, but doesn't want us to regret starting early and then having regrets. Though that doesn't change our plans. We could be trying for a baby in a week if this appointment works!!!!! Aaaahhhh

So Much!

I have been so busy the last couple weeks I haven’t had any time to update! My mom has been in town and that has been wonderful. Though it does mean waking up before my normal wake up time. Our days have been filled with errands and trips and shopping and by the end of the day (after dinner with my grandpa) I am exhausted. In a good way. Hubs and I also recently took a (to short) four day trip to Hawaii with his company as a reward for a good 2011 year. There is nothing like waking up in a gorgeous hotel room that faces the ocean and having a full day to relax and adventure. Not to mention the trip was free :) One of the days we went horseback riding, and ATVing and I think it was my favorite day. I kept thinking that I wouldn’t have been on this trip if our baby was still here. I would be 38 weeks pregnant unable to fly. No Hawaii, no Horseback, ATVing, or open bar. On the other hand, I got all that, but no baby. And to put the cherry on those cheerful thoughts my period-no-baby-reminder started the last day of the trip. Hubby and I are toying with the idea of a baby after this period ends... not trying, but not preventing. First we have to meet with a new doctor May 1, and I am hoping he is one that will be willing to treat MTHFR as a something. Not like the counselor we saw who said it was no big deal. Um... excuse me but google-doctor doesn’t agree. I didn’t do anything beyond the normal the first time and look what happened. I started retaking my prenatals again after boycotting them the last couple months to start building up my vitamin levels... just in case.

Genetics And My Mother

Today is the day. Twice. We FINALLY got our appointment with the geneticist and my mother flies in in an hour. After a week and a half of calling and trying to get an appointment we have one. Today at 3:30 we get answers. How is MTHFR going to effect me? What am I going to have to do differently? More importantly what does it mean about trying again and having a healthy baby?! How long do we need to be in the new regimen before its effective and safe? Until then what about birth control...from what I have read I can't take the pill anymore because of clotting, so what do we do? So many questions!!   The other main thing today is my mom. She hasn't been out here in 2 years. Things are finally getting back to normal between us. What will the next 3 weeks bring? I am excited to pick her up and show her my apartment. She hasn't ever seen it so this will be fun. Plus delicious Mexican food for lunch before my appointment. :)

update: appt was a bust. not only did we have to fill out the dreaded paperwork... "number of pregnancies: 1, live children:0" the counselor was a complete waste of time. She said based on our family history it doesn't look genetic and she disregarded the MTHFR by saying the more digging you do the more you will find. I checked out at that point.  I got home and called the hospital to set up a 'pre-conception' appt with a new OB May 1st.

Health Care, Crafting, Easter, And Jesus

On Friday I called the hospital for the FOURTH TIME and still haven't spoken to anyone about making an APPOINTMENT with the geneticist to discuss my mutation and getting pregnant again. I have left THREE MESSEGES!!!!! The last time I called the put me on hold for half an hour and then hung up on me! @#*!#%!!!!! I'm going to chew out the next person who answers. This is ridiculous. I hate health care, who can you really complain to? In other news, the last few days I have gone craft crazy. Crazy. I have made: three cross stitch families, on maxi dress, one tee shirt, two alterations to shirts I already own, an ornately painted 'L' on canvas, a 24x48 canvas abstraction to put over our bed, and hung 9 pictures in the living room. I need help. How did I spend my Saturday you ask? Cutting out about a hundred+ circles to glue to my giant canvas. Finished it and hung it tonight too.  To be fair I also left the house. Hubby and I made a trek to Costco and the local fruit stand, and grocery shopping too. Now I am exhausted just in. Time for Easter.  After church tomorrow it is supposed to be 80 again and that means hubby will have to drag me inside if he wants to spend time inside. We plan on hitting the park after church and before family brunch at 2. Hubs thinks we are going to kick around a soccer ball, in reality, he might kick the ball while I lay and soak in the sun.  Our church is having a big Easter service and fellowship time we are excited about. Friday night we went to the Good Friday service.. And I was very different. The preacher read the story of Jesus's crucifixion from the Bible in a room darkened except for candles in order to match the somber reading. He stopped before the resurrection, and the celebration, saving it for Sunday. The entire time I kept thinking how God had to watch his only son die. I can relate. The difference is when His son died he got to finally meet him and bring him home.  But He is risen! Tomorrow is a day for celebration! Through His blood we are all free and invited to spend eternity in Heaven :) 

What More Can Happen!?

Ugh, we just got some results back from the extra blood testing and found I have two mutations on one of my chromosomes (MTHFR).. Something to do with blood clotting and not processing folic acid. I'm waiting for the Doctor to call me back and tell me exactly what that means and how that might affect us having another baby. Google-doctor has NOT been helpful to my peace of mind. Its linked to recurrent miscarriage and what looks to my untrained eye what happened to Max. .. on top of banding. seriously how much more can I take? I mean... really?! ugh. This just doesn't seem to be meant to be. Why us? we would be great parents and we want it really badly. Teenagers get babies, drug addicts get babies, SNOOKI gets a baby!! Why not us!?

Benihana!

Well. We didn’t end up bike riding. Granted it did rain this weekend, though the reason is really we just never got around to it. On Saturday hubby and I enjoyed and amazingly delicious dinner (and cocktails) at Benihana using a giftcard my mom and sister got us after Max died. Well we finally got around to using it.  Getting a chance to dress up in my old, tighter and no-room-for-bump dress was weird. And of course when we were in Benihana all I kept thinking was the last time we were there. We were 8 weeks pregnant on our birthdays with my aunt and nana and gave my nana a bday card (there are 6 family bdays in October) and her card was signed from us and Baby. These were the first people we told besides my sister and we were really excited. If everything goes according to plan we will be pregnant again in October. 

The rest of the weekend went by too fast. Toooo fast. My favorite thing in the world is waking up Saturday morning with nowhere to be and time to wake up together and cuddle. It didn’t hurt that the weather cooperated with the cuddling. It was cloudy and cool (with some rain) all weekend. We spent a lot of time sitting together, watching movies, and talking. Perfect weekend.