Borrowing Better Words

This lady says is really well. She lost her son a couple months ago and describes ‘after.’

 “I hate having to live in this world without my baby.  It is complete and utter torture.  

And the people I see, bless their hearts, they don't understand.  

How could they?  

But they try... they ask how I'm doing, and me... I nod and say, "I'm fine." 

I'm a strong woman.  I know that I am.  

But I'm not okay.  Not right now. 

Am I living?  I guess... I'm keeping busy and putting on my happy face.

But losing a piece of your heart... sucks.  Bottom line. 

I'm trying to think of any way to describe what I'm feeling at this point. 

Lost, devastated, sick, mad, angry... 

Seeing parents pushing their kids in the grocery cart at the store is hard. 

Seeing kids in church is hard. 

Seeing any little boy and picturing what Tripp was or would be like at that age is hard. 

Seeing kids PERIOD, is hard. 

But what really irks my chain is when I (secretly) watch parents who are so ungrateful for their children.  Children are such a blessing.  I wish all parents would treat their kids like every single day was the last day they were going to see them.  Not every one is ABLE to have kids, and not everyone is gets the honor of being able to watch their kids grow up.  It's a gift.  I wish people would treat it that way.  

I will never be able to see my baby's first day of school. 

Or his graduation. 

Or see him get married. 

Or have kids of his own.  

There aren't words to explain what that feels like.”

http://randycourtneytripproth.blogspot.com/